If you are on your way to the goal and stop and throw stones at any dog that barks at you, you will never reach that goal"
Fyodor Dostoevsky- From Fr Joe's Newsletter, (email@example.com)
Verbalizing my resentfulness yesterday of different people and being really mad at myself for doing that!
I carry resentment like that in my head and then it burst out. I don't feel like I am resentful, but then there it is poisoning the air around me. Clearly and ego thing!
So pondering and praying this morning, how can I think differently about these people?
These are people that are having an inward struggle with themselves. They are at war in someway or another with their own peace. I need to pray for them, which seems obvious, however I need to not take what they are projecting as a personal attack, and realize it is the spillover from a war that is going on inside.
If I understand the dog is barking from pain then am not tempted to throw stones. By God's Grace!
Delving into the quote department- This from CS Lewis, Perelandra, in which Ransom continues his space travels and meets the Lady- this line may be paraphrased but here it is-
' This fruit today is the best fruit!'
I see in myself regret and irritation towards time wasted, waiting to leave, waiting for something or someone, go early so you can wait, time that seems empty time with nothing produced. I need to think of that as Holy Time. Time given to me for God. Certainly practicing the Jesus Prayer in that time would be fruitful. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, be merciful to me a sinner" or short version, 'Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me', or Holy Theotokos, pray for me!'
That time could be set aside just for that purpose. A time out so to speak.
I remember in the past thinking that was a good thing to do while waiting in a grocery line, and enjoying it as such. I have lost that...Time to realize, time to take into account- opt for a good use of 'Fruitful Time'.
Hebrews 10: 16 This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them, 17 then He adds, "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more." 18 Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.
Here is this line - "I will put My laws into their hearts" and it says to me, part of that law is the Loving-Kindness that Christ exhibits toward us, not just rules, which offer a way to live into His Love. Along side this here are some mental wanderings.
I have in my scrap silver collection tiny pieces of jump rings, little pieces of wires, strange odds and ends, a bezel here for a specific size stone, and other scraps and constructions. They are unusable like that, so I decided to melt them down. I have a mini-torch these days, which is hot enough to solder, but not so great at melting. I took the pieces and divided them into small piles. As they melted I could see funny shapes, some just odd pieces, another like a bird, another a spider. I totally enjoyed the surprise that they created in terms of form as they melted. I thought to hang them from a charm bracelet, but didn't. The Deconstructionist concept came to mind, that nothing is about one thing, as it has many meanings that can not be nailed down to one, and may mean several things at once.
This morning, taking the recycling to a station quite a distance away from us, I saw all seemingly fresh perceptions for me. I thought of the surprise in the melted silver. The drive was also providing new events, a huge flock of teal, winging their way east, a house fire right next to the road, a super fast driver, making a large truck pull off of the road, glorious cliffs and the river. Some good, some clearly not so good. Surprises.
It left me thinking. I hate the mundane. I wander through a day and so much is familiar, and thus uninteresting because it says nothing except about repetition. If I am in process, not knowing where something is going, like the silver, like the travel, how am I to repeat that in my day?
How can I think of that line, "I will put My laws into their hearts", that law that the Loving-Kindness of Christ provides? I think, slow down, take in what God is saying now...how does that make my day fresh and alive? In interaction with others, what is it that may help them? Maybe nothing, maybe understanding, maybe a small effort on my part.
I have glasses with which to see with on my desk. I want to see in a different context. How can I see Loving-Kindness as I move through the day? By God's Grace!
And that has nothing to do with remission of sin, or maybe everything! Can sin be the mindless repetition that seems so deadening?
"Since we have touched on many things and have heard the Babe crying in the manger and have adored Him there,
let us continue our adoration of Him today. Let us pick Him up in our arms and adore Him as the Son of God"… St Gerasimos of Jerusalem
From St. Paisius Monastery Newsletter, Safford, AZ
(St Gerasimos, Pray to God for Palestine and Israel!)
Imagine! Holding the newborn Christ Child in your arms! Wow!!!!
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