Looking  through papers today, I came a cross this small note to myself. It was a thought that I felt was important. I don't know who said this, but where ever I got it, it still seems interesting to me and to bear Truth. 

• Worry is a sickness rather than an illness, because it is based on fear. 
• Illness is actually a state of being.
• An addition today (2-8-2026) after reading this in a book that will form the basis of a book study. My paraphrasing- The Ego wants to take over when we have no control. The source of all is only found by prayer and faith in God, and the asking for His action in our lives.  The book: The Way of the Ascetic-Tito Colliander  (Out of Print, can be found on the St. John the Baptist Orthodox Church, DC webpage.
  
• Mix constant prayer with listening, and watching
• Romans 11:5-36  The 'Election of Grace'- by Faith, Grace is sent.  This is by the willing of Faith in God.  The Elected are those who are willing to be Faithful. 

The Text for January 29, 2026

For our Country!
"Let not the throne of iniquity have fellowship with thee, which frameth mischief in the name of the law. 
Psalm 93:20
 
Memory Eternal for 
W. Page Wilson, 
Tseyeh Hisba
Amha Selassie

Renee Good
Alex Pretti

I am starting a re-read of this prayer book as it offers some wonderful meditative thoughts and words for my evening reading. To those interested here is the Link, New Rome Press, The Light of the World, Prayers to Our Lord Jesus Christ. There is also a companion piece also, Mother of the Light, prayers to the Theotokos. Both are wonderful prayer books. Not only meaty, but beautiful pieces of book-binding, small and well conceived.

A line asserted itself as I was re-reading the introduction. The Introduction is composed of writings from different sources, some early Church Fathers. I wish I had noted where specifically this line came from in those writings, but I didn't. If you buy the prayer book, you will come upon it. It was: "To surrender one's self to the world of prayer..."

I saw this in it  and I will add, some of these lines may have been provided in the writing, and some may have been given to me. It is a great departure from my normal thinking.

What I saw was turning away from judging, recognizing perhaps an evil that has come upon someone, and instead of making a judgement, turning in prayer towards that person. And in light of that, seeing myself reconfigured through through the prayer, rather than expressing or acting on my opinions.

And from this same introductory piece came, prayer might seem self-loss, but it is also self-discovery, manifesting itself in spiritual growth. 

I thought this was profound. A new way for me to listen to others, and to benefit in ways I had never imagined. And, I might add, a way not to own what someone else is saying. By God's Grace!

Reading this morning from the small prayer book, The Light of the World, Prayers to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Translated by the V. Rev. Archimandrite Maximos Costas, New Rome Press,  A prayer to Our Lord Jesus Christ, by St Isaac the Syrian, these words:
"Let your soul which You surrendered to your Father when you were on the cross, guide me to your grace..."
The word 'soul', jumped out like a hammer, and whacked me on the head. 
Jesus, fully God and fully man, as He is defined in Christian Tradition, struck me with a new reality. 
Jesus is fully man, in that he was born of a woman, and moved on this earth healing people, loving those around Him, and being attacked, stoned, slandered, punched, beaten, crucified, killed, and then resurrected from the dead. In the process of His life, He carried with him a soul, just like each of us. 
Here is the thing that I had not seen before: In His Heart, the Father lived and spoke to Him, and in this knowledge, He labored in all that the Father intended of Him. And see how He did this, by treating disrespect, violence, and distrust and all the sins committed against Him without holding it in His heart.  No grudges, there, simply pointing out, “behold the leaven of the Pharisees”.
In this He set a pattern for the “New Adam”, a name that He is called. By laying aside all of the passions, (avarice, pride, vanity, lust, etc.) He did not respond to those traps which we fall into. By carrying the Father in His heart and responding to the Father’s direction, the hardest perhaps, to wait for Lazarus to die, and the other to be crucified, He laid a pattern for us to follow.
At His resurrection he laid the pattern and refashioned us in His image as mankind.  We, through prayer, fasting, and Loving of Him, not ourselves, have been conceived to carry Him in our hearts, listening for His Instruction, or the instruction of the Holy Spirit whom the Father sent to instruct us. If we do not act on the passions when they confront us, or we when are tempted- we gain Theosis, (the deification of man), to become, little Christs. Listening, not acting on impulse, and not struggling with the why of things, so much as trusting what we know is right in our hearts and following that even if it is hard. That is the way Saints are made.
This is an amazing gift.  The words of Jesus to Peter, when he asked about John come to me, “What of Him?” Jesus says, “Don’t look at him, follow me.”  

This is a hard saying that I am not good at following, from The Book of James- "...to love others with humility and mercy, even if they are in the wrong. James 4:11-12
I pray that I would take this to heart and be better at backing off of what I want to say, to have the humility to listen and ask questions, rather than assign my meanings and understanding as a response.
This encompasses people with whom I work or live, or those viewed from afar, who do not do what we feel they should be doing.  Loving them despite disagreeing with them, as people who are perhaps deeply fallen, feeling they are wrong, but still accepting them as one whom God has created, like myself.
Humility and mercy... in daily passage, doing unto others as I would have them do to me.

The Reading was John 5:39-47. The parable was about the rich man who had a beggar at his gate. The beggar died, and so also the rich man.  The rich man was in hell, and across the gulf, he saw Lazarus the beggar in the bosom of Abraham. 
Abraham explained that in life, the rich man had everything he wanted, but Lazarus had suffered and had little. Abraham asked if Lazarus could come and put a drop of water on his dry lips. Abraham explained there was a great gulf between them, and it could not be crossed. The rich man then asked if Lazarus would go to his Father's house and tell his brothers this. Abraham says, "They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them. 30And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent. 31And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
 How important acceptance is. Here was the Son of a loving Father, sent to earth to heal people and bring them a message of love from the Father. He was condemned for his loving grace and mercy towards us. He endured crucifixion, that we would have the chance to sit, so to speak, in the bosom of Abraham (Heaven).  It is amazing to me that the evil one is able to block and ridicule that Love, and make it so hard to hear, for us poor human beings whom He created. 
I was just such a person. Too intellectual to believe something so mind-boggling.  Jesus knocked on my door (noggin), and I got the message. Jesus is real, and I had better find out who he is! 
I just finished reading a George MacDonald series of books centered around a young Curate. The first book, The Curate's Awakening, says it profoundly and well. Better and more succinctly than I had ever read in a capsulized form about Faith, and the reality of Jesus Christ. It's worth reading, as are the other two.  The first one is exceptional.
And then this:  Luke 11:9-10
"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 
 
​(In regard to the above, this line represents the way we communicate with Jesus. He is not saying, 'I will give you the material goods that you want,' though He might. He is asking you to talk to Him, to ask Him to help you with worries, or sadness, or even to accomplish everyday chores. Speak to Him when you feel joy and are thankful for good things.  He wants you to ask Him for help that others might need, with friends, family, people that you love.)  

The wise Abbot made a distinction in this: When an event happens that needs your involvement, look to the good and the positive. He said, "If a child is being kidnapped, we rush to the aid of the child, not the attack of the kidnapper". 
The world is full of litigation, anger towards others, impatience, and so on. Much of that negative energy is based on someone doing something bad (to me), and I am going to get even, or do something equally bad to pay them back, 'an eye for an eye'.  The negative responding to the negative. Instead, he said, respond on behalf of the good, if the negative is in the way of it or trying to destroy it; so be it, protect the good. 
Do you see that way of responding? To me, it was profound. Building on what is good and true, vs heaping bad upon bad.
That point of view has immense Power. 
Another side of this- If three policemen are standing in view of the kidnapper and the child is being abducted, rather than getting in the way or taking it upon yourself, leave it to those who are protecting the child (or group) to respond, as long as they clearly know that something is amiss. My role in this is asking God for help in the situation.

I go on Sundays to a Monastery, Holy Archangel Michael's in Cañones, NM. On Sunday the Abbot spoke about knowing one's self.
It is very hard to know one's self, and to be authentic to who we are, without the hang-ups of ego, pride, judgement of others etc.  jumping into the picture. Our minds are a swirl of thoughts.
While waiting in line for breakfast, on the bulletin board was posted a quote from St Theophan the Recluse, a noted Russian Elder and writer of many books, which boiled down to, my paraphrasing, 'If you descend to the heart rather than making judgements in the mind, you escape the thoughts which run rampant in the head and poke and pinch you with their insistence.
The authentic you is in the heart. Thinking about it, I can feel the difference. Thinking of someone you love truly, or something you love to do, you feel that in your chest.  Thinking things out takes you up into your head, as do judgements etc. as part of brain work. Our thoughts are very active, sometimes negative. Feel the difference. 
​ Love is the basis of who God is. Heart being is what God has created us to be. If we learn to live there, we are authentic to ourselves as God's Creation. 

 I came across a verse in some material I inherited from a priest. He had written it out, as he was a graphic, bookmaking kind of person; this quote is from the Psalms. 

"Peace be within your walls, and security within your towers!”  (NIV)

I find this profound. If I think of my being as having walls, and the thoughts within it are my peace, or not.  Anything I take up should feed these walls. Of course, at the core of peace is the Jesus Prayer. (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.)  Then I started saying Jesus in my walls, Holy Mother, (Mary)  in my towers. 
Realizing yesterday that when I talk on the phone or engage with any technology, I lose the immediate now —my real life, my peace. Everything, and everyone around me, is physically relational and my immediate now. What is God saying to me right now? Have I invited Him in to interact with me? How much of the time do I go about whatever it is I have as a goal without a thought of what He wants of me?