If you are on your way to the goal and stop and throw stones at any dog that barks at you, you will never reach that goal"
Fyodor Dostoevsky- From Fr Joe's Newsletter, (movingtorussia@substack.com) Verbalizing my resentfulness yesterday of different people and being really mad at myself for doing that! I carry resentment like that in my head and then it burst out. I don't feel like I am resentful, but then there it is poisoning the air around me. Clearly and ego thing! So pondering and praying this morning, how can I think differently about these people? These are people that are having an inward struggle with themselves. They are at war in someway or another with their own peace. I need to pray for them, which seems obvious, however I need to not take what they are projecting as a personal attack, and realize it is the spillover from a war that is going on inside. If I understand the dog is barking from pain then am not tempted to throw stones. By God's Grace! Delving into the quote department- This from CS Lewis, Perelandra, in which Ransom continues his space travels and meets the Lady- this line may be paraphrased but here it is-
' This fruit today is the best fruit!' I see in myself regret and irritation towards time wasted, waiting to leave, waiting for something or someone, go early so you can wait, time that seems empty time with nothing produced. I need to think of that as Holy Time. Time given to me for God. Certainly practicing the Jesus Prayer in that time would be fruitful. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, be merciful to me a sinner" or short version, 'Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me', or Holy Theotokos, pray for me!' That time could be set aside just for that purpose. A time out so to speak. I remember in the past thinking that was a good thing to do while waiting in a grocery line, and enjoying it as such. I have lost that...Time to realize, time to take into account- opt for a good use of 'Fruitful Time'. |
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